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Evidently, this story was for somebody else's ears since it was quite loudly spoken. I was puzzled. Why would anyone be listening? Nicolai never spoke this way before. I had never experienced this tense atmosphere before in the presence of Nicolai.
Nicolai spoke like a tour guide, suggesting places we should visit. Ushi chided him for this. "Leave this up to us, please." So he spoke about operas. He said that Madame Butterfly was being performed this week. He told us the story of it. He spoke with great compassion about the Japanese girl who had been married to an American who had left Japan and then abandoned her, but who had come back later with his wife to claim her child as his own.
Now he spoke like the real Nicolai. Though it seemed I had barely known him, I sensed something familiar in the beauty of the intimacy of his sharing, in the tone of his voice, and the care he took in presenting the story. I could also see the same care expressed by him towards Antonovna. Nicolai had changed. He had become more beautiful, more genuine, and more human. I wasn't speaking to the politician anymore, or the powerful and respected security chief of the Russian Northern Fleet. Or was it I, who had changed? Perhaps, what was unfolding here was a faint trace of what Ushi had brought up as a challenge to be overcome in male to male relationships, when we met at the airport in Caracas at the morning of our departure.
After dinner, Nicolai told us that we had some time left for dancing. Nicolai danced only once and left the rest of the time to us. The music was loud and monotonous. Still, we danced to it. We held each other close, and with a soft voice Anton informed me that we would meet one of Koldunov's men in two days. Koldunov is helping us," she whispered.
"But why me?"
"You can thank Nicolai for that," she said, and grinned.
I hadn't thought about the implications when she said that, we, would meet his man. The word didn't register until she explained that we were facing a dangerous mission together, but an important one on which all of our lives might depend. "This mission might be the most important mission, ever," she whispered while we danced. "I told Nicolai that we can trust you," she added. "It will have to be done in total secrecy, inside of Russia. Will you help us?"
How could I decline? The great care with which everything had been arranged, a care that flowed from the depth of Nicolai's beautiful soul, was something that inspired trust. How could I not honor this trust. "Of course I will help," I replied.
"Something ominous has happened up north," Anton whispered while we danced. "Nicolai was ordered in no uncertain terms to stay away from it. It appears that an unknown device was dropped over northern Siberia in a strategically sensitive area. It was picked up by infrared sensors, but not by radar. Nicolai found out about it, but was ordered by his superiors not to get involved. The reason might be that his involvement would draw too much attention. It is more likely, however, that his superiors want to cover something up, something that is directed against our country, something big that certain traitors don't want Nicolai know about, or find out details about. Nicolai believes that the object might be a biological warhead of some sort. No one has gone near the site as far as Nicolai has been able to find out. They are treating the incident as if nothing had happened. Several of the log entries have been erased that Nicolai had made copies off. It all adds up to something big. Nicolai wants the two of us to go on site. Are you still willing to come?"
"How could I possibly let you face this danger alone?" I answered. "Besides, all of Russia might be in danger. If I can help to save your life, and Nicolai's, and the life of your people, I will gladly come. But can it be done? You just said that no one has entered the area so far. It may be sealed off."
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